Two days until the appointment.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your paths.

This verse has meant alot to me during this time of waiting to conceive and now in this time of waiting for test results to come back and finding out what is going on. It is interesting to me to see how a verse that has been so familiar to me all my life can seem like a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day. But this is the verse I am clinging to because as I break the verse down I see how it applies to the circumstances I find myself in.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart… This is where our trust must be - all of our trust. 100%! Dave and I have a box in our closet that is taped shut and has big, bold, black letters that say, “GOD IS GREATER”. In the box is everything we were trying on our own to conceive. Dave realized our trust was in those things so one day we gathered everything up and put them in a box and Dave wrote that to signify that we were shifting our trust, our complete trust, to God. Now, when a month goes by and the relentless sign comes telling me I am not pregnant, we do not feel we failed yet another month in conceiving but we know God is now in control and He has a plan.

…and lean not on your own understanding… I hang onto every word of this phrase of the verse because it is so incredibly easy to find myself envious of every pregnant woman I see! I have friends that are pregnant and at times it can seem that pregnant women are the only ones in the population because that is what my mind naturally focuses on. In the past few weeks, I’ve been able to shift my thinking to not thinking about all that because that is my understanding of things and not how God sees my situation at all. Sure, there are still times when I feel that sting around a pregnant woman but I am human and this is why I cling to this verse.

…in all your ways acknowledge him… We know we do not walk this path alone. We desire, above all, for God to be glorified because we realize when circumstances stink in our lives, it allows God a chance to be glorified. And ultimately, we are on this earth to bring glory to God.

…and he will direct your paths. We need direction! We have about a million questions and we are hoping at least some of those questions can be answered by Dr. L on Wednesday. We know Dr. L can give us the facts and tell us our treatment options based on what all these tests have shown our problem is, but we are trusting God to show us exactly what He wants us to do to most glorify Him.

- Elaine