The first session at our marriage conference talked about why marriages fail by discussing five threats to our marriages.

Every marriage is either moving toward oneness or drifting toward isolation. Think about that for a moment. It is a profound statement and so very true. Marriage relationships never stand still.

Threats towards oneness:

Threat #1. Difficult adjustments (unwillingness to make adjustments)
Contrasting backgrounds, superficial motivations and differing expectations require adjustments to be made by both husband and wife. Failure to do so results in isolation rather than oneness.

Threat #2. The world’s pattern
The world’s pattern is a 50/50 performance relationship where acceptance is based on performance and giving is based upon merit. The motivator here is feelings…not God’s plan for marriage.

Threat #3. Inevitable difficulties
Difficulties do not mean something is wrong with your marriage. However, your response to difficulties will either drive you apart or bind you together.

Threat #4: Extramarital “affairs”
These can include activities affair (being to busy), materialism affair (desiring more stuff), career affair (workaholic), family affair (focus is children), fantasy affair (pornography or romance novels) and love affair.

Threat #5: Selfishness
Everyone has a natural tendency to be self-centered. We live in a culture that promotes and encourages selfishness.


If couples are not intentionally moving toward oneness, their marriages will drift toward isolation.

At the end of this session, the speaker said, “Aren’t you glad there is more to come than just this?” At this point it would seem all marriages are doomed to fail when you look at what we are up against. But the opposite is true when we look at God’s plan and purpose for marriage from the beginning of time. It is then we can see the picture of marriage as God intended. And what a beautiful picture that is!

Next topic: Can we talk? Our Communication Tool Box

- Elaine