And now for the other post…

While still in Texas, I received an email from my nurse which contained the schedule for our next cycle. You know how I was hesitant to use birth control again but fortunately it was out of my hands to make that decision in the end. When I received the schedule, I was to be on birth control for over 30 days. I was extremely confused by this and when I emailed H her response made no sense to me whatsoever.

Insemination day wasn’t until AUGUST…forever and a day away. I could not comprehend why in the world we had to wait so long. (I had figured up what I thought would be the next cycle using the schedule from the first cycle. Insemination should have been around July 20th.) The frustration of it all is what triggered all the emotions once again of being angry over having to go through all this.

I called H and left a message asking her to please call me. Also Dave had an appointment with Dr. L and I asked Dave to ask Dr. L about this crazy schedule. Dr. L said he would have H look over it again and see what could be done.

Fast forward a day and a half and my mom had written me an email and I was responding to her. My emotions don’t easily flow from my lips but give me a pen or keyboard and my emotions can be released like a broken levee onto the paper or screen. This happened in the email to my mom. I was ranting and raving about hating that I have to go through this. As I was writing, I was pleading with God to please just give me a glimmer of hope. Then I wrote that I really just needed my nurse to call. I had just enough time to hit the space key on the keyboard to start the next sentence when my cell phone rang.

It was H! She told me she had revised my schedule and my last day of birth control would be July 1st and we would be inseminating on July 18th and 19th!

God is ever-present. These past two days have been really dark but God has been there. I am learning that relying on God through this is not living life constantly smiling through the whole process no matter what happens. No, relying on God means that even in the dark days I acknowledge and believe that God is here. God is working. And God IS faithful.

- Elaine