What kept me going Monday was the simple fact that God gives us life in 24-hour increments. Even though the disappointment and sadness was overwhelming, I knew it would not, thank God, be August 4, 2008, for forever. Just 24 hours and then, at the stroke of midnight, we could begin a new day.

We have come to realize that the worst part of this whole deal is not having to struggle to become pregnant and going through physically and emotionally draining fertility treatments. The worst part of this is days like Monday when there is hope that I could be pregnant only to find out I’m not and back to square one we go. That is the worst part.

I spent a lot of those 24-hours of August 4th, asking God why. Why couldn’t you just have allowed it to happen? Why must we continue on down this road. Isn’t twelve months enough?

I knew in my head the answers to those questions but I just didn’t want to accept it. And notice that all those questions above center around me and what I want.

For some reason, beyond what anyone on this green earth can explain or even try to explain, God is not through with this story yet. God was not in the least bit surprised by the negative result on Monday. Did I want the infertility road to end on Monday? Do I even have to answer that question?

In the past 48-hours God has simply told me to be still and know that HE is God. (Psalm 46:10 NIV) I don’t have to figure this out. I don’t have to sit and wonder what went wrong. I don’t have to worry about it never happening. I just have to be still and let God be God.

But to the human mind, it makes no sense whatsoever for a couple who just long to have a child to not be allowed this when teenagers are pregnant and giving birth or aborting.

But that is also why God is God and I am not. I cannot see the whole entire picture. God can not only see the whole picture, but He painted every intricate detail of the picture.

And the fact of the matter is God is still the same God he was on August 3rd. He is still love, peace, joy, holy, sovereign, all-knowing, all-powerful, eternal, merciful, gracious and faithful.

And He is at work even today. Glory be to God who by his mighty power at work within us is able to do far more than we could ever dare to ask or even dream of. (Eph. 3:20 TLB)

The storm still rages. And it is a big, ugly storm. The rain is pouring – hard. But God is my raincoat in this storm. The rain can pour all around me but it cannot penetrate me because I am shielded and protected by God.

Thank you to every one who has reached out to us this week. Please continue to pray. Thank you for walking with us through prayer.

- Elaine