A blogger friend asked a question in one of the comments she left on my blog. Her question was in reference to the blog I posted titled “Putting my Hope where it belongs”.

The question is, “I know God tells us to pray expectantly, but isn’t that just setting us up for disappointment?”

I think an initial response to this question would be to answer with a yes.

All I’ve ever wanted in life is to be a wife and mother. I imagined giving birth to our first child around the time we celebrated our first year anniversary of marriage. Instead, at our one year anniversary we were just beginning infertility treatments. And now I am hoping we will atleast be parents by our second wedding anniversary.

As we go through cycle three, do you think I will pray and plead with my Heavenly Father on insemination day to please allow sperm to meet egg? Absolutely. And I know my family and friends will be doing the same.

Now we need to establish what praying expectantly means. I believe Mark 11:24 sums it up: Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

This would mean I can pray expectantly and say, “God, you know my heart and how much I long for a child. You know the struggles Dave and I have faced. You know the countless nights of crying, frustration and tears. Please God, allow conception to happen this month and bless us with a baby (or two!).”

I believe what I have explained so far is praying expectantly on a surface level. But you have to dive deeper than this and consider God’s Will.

One of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn through this ordeal is truly surrendering my will for God’s Will. This means I can pray the prayer above knowing God may have other plans. Yes, my desire is to conceive my next IUI cycle. But I must surrender to the fact that God’s Will may be different.

There is still good news here. God’s Will is always best. This is not a deal where God’s Will is best 99% of the time and my will is best 1%. Nope. God’s Will is always best. Always.

Which means something incredibly awesome! If I can just stand out of God’s way and let Him work His will in my life, something amazing will happen. That’s God’s guarantee. Just remember Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.”

So does praying expectantly set us up for disappointment? I believe the answer is no.

Just look at Jess’s story. God gave her the family she desired in ways she never dreamed of. Would she change anything for the world? No way! Would she say God’s Will for her life far outweighed her own desires? I think the answer to that question is a definite yes.

The fact of the matter is God does not disappoint! Do we go through seasons in life where we wonder where in the world God is? Yes, we do. Oh how easy it is to think that way when we are in the middle of an infertility battle, with one thing on our mind, and over and over and over again we are denied that one thing.

But take heart! God is able to do far more than we can even ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20)! Isn’t that wonderful news?

I love to read. I like to think of this time in my life as a book. I’m in the middle of reading the story, not knowing how it is going to end. But I know the story will end well. There will be no sad ending. And it is just a matter of time before God allows me to “read” what He has planned. I don’t have any idea what the ending will look like. I just know it will be good.

Far better than anything I can pray for today.

Aren’t you glad God is willing to give us more than we even ask instead of just giving us what we ask for? Now that is an amazing God!

I believe we both can expect an amazing ending to our infertility journeys.

Far better than anything we can pray for today.

- Elaine