If I would have known 15 months ago where this journey was going to take us I would have booked the next possible flight out to China to escape my life. So many times in life when we are in the middle of a crisis, we cry out to God just wanting to know where in the world He is taking us next.

If only I just knew what was coming next!

Haven't we all been there at one time or another in life?

But through this journey so far I have learned that God, in His great wisdom, hands us life one jigsaw piece of the puzzle at a time because the truth of the matter is our little finite minds cannot fully grasp the whole picture at the beginning of a long journey such as the one I'm on now.

Sure, 15 months ago I had no idea I was headed here. But I wish to declare to the world that God has been faithful to us every step of the way. His Grace has been sufficient through everything. Through trying unsuccessfully for 6 months to conceive. Through fertility testing. Through four unsuccessful IUIs. And even through the incident when I thought I was actually pregnant but it turns out I wasn't.

God was faithful through ALL that. It is by His Grace, His strength and  His peace that I endured all that.

I am once again reminded of Matthew 6:34, Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

God supplies our needs in our time of need. Think of it this way: One staff aids a traveler; a bunch of staves is a heavy burden. God didn't give us what we needed to get through 4 failed IUIs on the first failed IUI. Instead, he gave us what we needed to get through the first IUI that failed. Then a month later he gave us what we needed to endure our 2nd failed IUI. Then our third ... and now, our fourth.

I do not have the answers as to why we have not conceived but I do know that God in his infinite wisdom has faithfully brought us through everything thus far - and He will continue. 

My future is still uncertain ... to me. Last year this time I was hoping to be pregnant by the end of the year. Now here I am a year later and I still have no guarantee I'll be pregnant by the end of this year.

But the name of the Lord shall still be praised!! God is a loving God. A God of hope, peace and joy!

- Elaine