After much prayer, thought, seeking the council of my parents and waiting to see if all necessary details would come together, we have made the decision to proceed with IVF.

At first, just thinking of going through IVF scared me to death.

Fear was forefront on my mind. I couldn’t imagine putting myself through something like IVF just to hear those five dreaded words for the fourth time: Sorry, you are not pregnant.

When I left the doctor’s office on January 15th, I knew God would speak clearly and let me know where to go next because I was all ears.

And sure enough, He did.

I came to realize that fear is paralyzing. And if God is leading us towards IVF, who am I to say to the very God who created me and loves me, “Sorry, God. I can’t go there. It’s too frightening.”?

So I started digging through the Bible finding verse after verse about fear.

And as I dug, something else became crystal clear to me, as well.

These past 18 months have been my “training and preparation” to be able to, in God’s strength and in God’s strength alone, run this upcoming “marathon” called IVF.

I believe God, in His Sovereignty, has used the heartache of negative pregnancy tests month after month, three failed IUIs and surgery to strengthen my faith and mold my character to be equipped to open the IVF door and walk through with confidence in God’s Sovereign plan for my life. I do not know what the outcome of this IVF cycle will be, but I do know whatever happens will be best.

In the past month, God has clearly opened the IVF door widely for us. I will not back away in fear and run.

Instead, I must grit my teeth, my strength coming only from the Lord. When something goes wrong, or there is an unexpected hurtle along the way, I must fix my eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of my faith. I must take one day at a time, filling my heart, soul and mind with the truths and promises found in God’s Word.

I will have an IVF consult appointment with Dr. L on February 12th.

Thank you for your prayers during this decision-making process. Don’t stop now… :)

- Elaine