Yesterday was a day in paradise, today – not so much. :(

I’m telling you, newborns are very, very, very, very, very complex creatures. What works one day makes them scream the next. Just when you think you might actually have a piece of their puzzling world figured out, the bottom drops out and you’re back at square one.

Two words.

Survival mode.

A few days ago Little Bug LOVED the sling. Then, she hated it. And now, as I type, she is sound asleep in it.

One word.

Relax.

I have to keep reminding myself of that one word because I absolutely hate not knowing what my baby wants when! It’s the worst feeling.

So what can I do but pull out every trick in the bag and hope and pray I find the one she wants.

I like what Kellie said in a comment in response to my Up and Down, Up and Down post:

Thank you for being so honest! I think we dream up how it's going to be when we are forced to wait, and after reading this I am going to prepare myself a little more for the "reality" of it all!

She couldn’t have said it better, I don’t think.

After years of infertility, when baby FINALLY arrives, I think we just have this picture perfect scenario in our minds. We think that everything will just be sunshine and roses because we have all we’ve ever wanted … a baby!

We don’t tend to think about the exhaustion, the crying baby who cries and you have no clue what the matter is. We don’t think about being bombarded with all the parenting methods out there and then feeling like maybe you are doing something wrong because that isn’t the way you are doing things. We don’t tend to think that suddenly from one day to the next our relationship with our husband changes. Not necessarily in a bad way, but you suddenly have this other little (demanding) person in the house and it just changes the whole household atmosphere in a way I don’t think we really expect.

We tend to only think about holding our peacefully sleeping newborn baby in our arms and staring at their perfect little features while finally feeling like all is right in the world.

I’m not saying there are not moments like that. Believe me, there have been tons of those moments in this household over the past 5 weeks!

What I am saying is exactly what Kellie said.

After waiting so long to have a baby we have tons of time to think and dream about what life with a baby will be like!

I know I did my share of dreaming and I even told myself that adjusting to life with a newborn will be a cinch for me because I’ve been changing diapers and caring for babies since I was 10 years old. I’ve essentially grown up taking care of babies and children. Oh, and don’t forget, I nannied for twins. Twins! If I can handle twins I just knew my own baby would be a cinch.

One word.

HA!

Little Bug has been anything but a cinch! In fact, she has been a tremendous challenge. One that I just wasn’t expecting because after all, infertility is enough of a challenge, wouldn’t you say?!

I think the difference here is that Little Bug is a welcome challenge! Infertility was not something I willingly signed up for. (Although after having walked that road and witnessed the hand of God perform many miracles through my infertility, I most certainly do not regret in any way having been “signed up” for infertility against my will.) Little Bug is certainly a challenge – but one that I most certainly did sign up extremely willingly for.

I think this is where FOCUS comes in to play. These days are fleeting. As much as a challenge some days (like today) may be, these days will be gone in a flash.

One day I won’t be able to look down and see my newborn daughter sound asleep in the sling, mouth wide open. :)

So, I’ll cherish these days - even these challenging days. And I will also cling to the advice so many of you have said: The first three months are the hardest. It will get better!

- Elaine