From childhood I have dreamed of one day being pregnant. In March of this year God asked me to surrender that desire to Him.

Now, four months later, it is easy to see why God needed me to surrender that desire to Him, stop infertility treatments when He said, “No more.” and pursue adoption.

Little Bug.

During the almost two months that we had to prepare for Little Bug’s arrival, pregnancy was the last thing on my mind.

My mind was consumed with how God had brought me through the darkest time of my life and performed a miracle.

I think that there is a misconception out there that once an infertile woman adopts, her desire for pregnancy dissipates into thin air.

Not so, at least for me.

Now that Little Bug is here, achieving pregnancy for me is most certainly not on the forefront of my mind like it was the two years before we learned of Little Bug.

It does not consume my every thought, but I must say, it is still on the back burner of my mind.

It is something I will always desire, until the day I die.

And it is something that I mourn not being able to experience with Little Bug.

But then, I put things all into perspective and attempt to look at things through the eyes of my Heavenly Father.

And I know if God had allowed pregnancy to occur for me through an IUI or IVF cycle or even naturally, I – no, we – would have missed out on the miracle of Little Bug.

I would have missed out on Little Bug.

And she is my baby girl.

God had plans for her and me that went farther than achieving pregnancy.

I’ve had my time of mourning pregnancy and childbirth and I know most likely Little Bug’s sibling will become a part of this family through another miracle of adoption.

Am I crazy to still be in survival mode with Little Bug but already thinking about how God will bring another child to our family?

The miracle certainly isn’t going to stop with Little Bug!

It thrills my soul to think about how God will orchestrate our next adoption and do something amazing just like He did with Little Bug. That is just the kind of God we serve.

Over the past several weeks I have considered closing this blog, but now I realize this story isn’t complete.

God is still at work.

- Elaine