Wow! I wasn’t expecting the story to take 9 posts!

But it did and there you have it.

When I stop and think about the time from August 2008 to May 2009, I’m  amazed at the goodness and faithfulness of God.

And now, more than anything, I just want this story to encourage the women who are still walking that dark road.

If you seek the Lord’s guidance though every step, there will be an end.

I know many of you have said that “once an infertile, always an infertile”. That is true, I know. I certainly don’t expect my infertility problems to fade away now that Little Bug is here.

But that gut-wrenching pain I endured month after month after month?

It did eventually end.

God brought me to a new place.

A place of peace and acceptance.

And He will bring you there too once the work He has started in you is complete.

Here’s some bullets about what I learned most during my walk down that dark, dark road:

• Attitude is everything. Don’t allow yourself to wallow in self pity for too long. Yes, there is a time for that. There is a time to be sad, angry and disappointed. But you can’t allow yourself to stay in that place! You must muster up strength that can only come from the Lord and move forward to what is next, even if you don’t know what that may be.

• Find your strength in the Lord. Call on His name and tell Him you don’t have any strength whatsoever to get through this on your own. He will be there in a flash and you will experience strength and power like you have never felt before. 

• Search the Scriptures for verses you can cling to during this time. My two verses were Jeremiah 29:11 and Ephesians 3:20.

• Allow yourself to believe every single word of those Scriptures. There was a breakthrough for me when I decided I was going to believe every single word of Jeremiah 29:11. It was then I knew that one day everything would be okay. And it wouldn’t just be okay – it would be perfect. I believed God had a special plan for my life and He most certainly did. That verse is not written in the Bible for only certain people – it is a verse that you too can claim for yourself as you walk this road.

• Contrary to what others may say, it is okay to be angry at God. It is okay to scream out in anger and tell Him this isn’t fair. He can take all that just fine. But then after you do all that screaming at Him, stop and listen to what He has to tell you. Being still and knowing that He is God is quite possibly one of the most important things you can do as you go through this. You will be amazed at the things He wants to teach you as you walk this horrible road.

• Take the time to be still and listen to God. No, you won’t necessarily hear an audible voice, but you will hear Him. Your circumstances are the way they are for a specific purpose. Believe that God is always at work, even during the darkest hour. Surrender your own will and let God teach you the things He wants to teach you during this time.

• I firmly believe when you reach that point of total surrender to God, that is when He is able to unleash His richest blessings on your life. Think about my story for a minute. It wasn’t until I completely surrendered my desire for pregnancy that God started revealing the miracle He had waiting for us … Little Bug!

• Discovering God’s Plan, God’s perfect plan as described in Jeremiah 29:11, takes waiting, which I know is a very difficult thing to do! There is nothing pleasant about the waiting process – except eventually receiving the Something More God had planned for you all along! Scripture tells us that those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength. They will rise up with wings like eagles and soar. I certainly did some waiting while walking the road. Every person’s wait time is different. But I eventually soared above infertility and received the greatest blessing of all in the form of a 5lb. 12oz. miracle baby girl. Wait on the Lord and you will be there too, one day.

I am reminded of a post I wrote on January 10th, 2009 – the day God gave me the poem about a baby girl being born in the month of May.

Here is that post:

In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation. Psalm 5:3

This verse describes to a T how I feel right now right here in this journey.

I’m expecting something marvelous.

I’m expecting something amazing.

I’m still expecting a miracle.

“Miracle” is defined as “something only God can do”.

I set out 17 months ago to have a baby.

God set out to do a miracle in my life.

I wait in great expectation!

(You can too!)

At the time I wrote that post, I was just beginning to understand this truth: No matter how bleak your situation may be, if you are a Child of God, He has a beautiful ending to your story!

Wait in expectation!

- Elaine