Mothers just know instinctively when there is something wrong with their baby.

My first experience with this (and at the time I had no clue that my motherly instincts had already kicked in) was about a week and a half after we learned Little Bug would be joining our family.

It was April 20, 2009, to be exact. I was at work that day. (Remember, I used to nanny for precious twin little girls before Little Bug was born.) As I went about the day I just felt like something had happened. I had this uneasy feeling the entire day. Finally, I decided I had to call the lawyer and ask if anything had happened to Tracy.

I called and ended up leaving a message for the lawyer and then went back to trying to push away that uneasy feeling. But it wouldn’t go away. I just knew something was up.

As the girls took there nap that day I sat on the couch and started praying for Little Bug. More than anything that day, I wanted Little Bug to be mine and to be safe in my arms. God began to teach me that very day that Little Bug isn’t mine at all – she is His.

I sat there with my notebook that I was using to journal my journey through the process of adopting and I drew a picture of a pregnant woman in the Hands of God. Here is the page from my journal where I drew this picture. Please, be forewarned, I am no artist! :)

I had to cover up that top right corner because I wrote Little Bug’s real name there. It says: “God’s protective hand surrounding [Little Bug] now and forevermore!”

That situation taught me a very important lesson every mother needs to learn: I can only protect Little Bug so much. My protection is limited. Ultimately, her life is in the Hands of our Heavenly Father and I can trust Him to protect Little Bug.

By the way, my motherly instincts were correct. A situation had transpired over the weekend involving Little Bug and Tracy. When I finally spoke to the lawyer and explained I just felt something had happened and she was probably going to think I was a nutcase for calling, she said, “Well…. actually….” and then went on to tell me what had gone on. (Details of which I just cannot share on a public website!)

A mother automatically feels a bond and connection with the unborn child in her womb. It is interesting to me that I felt a bond and connection to Little Bug even before her birth though I had never felt her kick me from the womb. Physically, we were as far apart as the Statue of Liberty is to the Golden Gate Bridge. There was no physical connection whatsoever. However, my motherly instincts had already kicked in for a baby girl that was growing in another woman’s womb.

Don’t ever underestimate the love and bond there is between mother and adopted child. And even more astounding is this: I think about how much I love my Little Bug and desire to protect her and I know God loves and protects Little Bug infinitely more.

- Elaine