Tonight I am weary.

I am just ready for the waiting to be over so we can either move on or move forward.

I remember very clearly after Little Bug’s birth and during those 81 hours we had to wait to hear that Tracy had signed the termination of her parental rights. It was May 30th, termination should have been signed on the morning of the 29th, but it had not been.

It was nearing 5pm on May 30th and I was just getting weary. I wanted to know. Is she going to sign or is she not going to sign?

I distinctly remember falling on my bed and just laying there. I was physically, emotionally and spiritually worn out and I just sat there and pleaded with God to please let this period of waiting come to a close, no matter the outcome.

It was literally minutes later when my cell phone rang. It was laying on the kitchen counter. I bolted out of bed and ran into the kitchen.

It was the lawyer.

I answered and heard the most beautiful words possible, "She signed! She's all yours!" I screamed for the whole house (and probably the whole neighborhood) to hear, "SHE'S OURS!!!"

The waiting was finally over and she was really our little baby girl.

Our parents were there at the house waiting with us. We all gathered in a circle right there in the living room and said a prayer of thanksgiving and then Dave and I jumped in the car and went straight to the hospital to see our baby girl.

And now here I am, exactly 20 months later....waiting. And I'm feeling weary and just ready for the wait to END.
 
I still know and believe with my whole heart that God is in control and He is at work even in the stillness and quiet of waiting.

But I am human and tonight, I'm physically, emotionally and spiritually worn slap out.

Please pray for continued strength and peace.

I know the minutes and hours will continue to tick away and, soon enough, the moment of truth will come.

And we will finally have answers.

And then we will move on or move forward.

Thank you so much for praying.

- Elaine