I really can’t say thank you enough to everyone for their outpouring of love and support, prayers, emails, texts, Facebook messages and hugs during this time.

I want to assure everyone that I am fine.

Really, I am! I am not just saying that!

Don’t worry – I am not bottling all the emotions of this up only to explode a week or a month from now!

I dealt with the grief on the couch with my parents after I officially learned what I knew in my heart. There were tears, I was disappointed but my husband didn’t even have time to come home from work to comfort me before I was absolutely at peace with the final outcome and so ready to just move on!

The grief period was just simply that brief.

As I have said all along, there was disappointment, but ultimately at the conclusion of all this, I felt an overwhelming sense of relief.

Just a few days before all this drama began I counted the weeks that had gone by since first learning of Tracy’s pregnancy. December 10th, she had told the lawyer she was about 10-11 weeks pregnant, so that would mean when I counted that she was approximately 16ish weeks pregnant. And while 16 weeks was a whole lot further along than 10 weeks, 40 weeks still seemed light years away.

I certainly wasn’t looking forward to the next 5-6 months. From the day we first learned of Tracy’s pregnancy I told God that 30 weeks of dealing with Tracy was a lot BUT I knew ultimately He was in charge and I knew there was a purpose behind this pregnancy and I just had to step out in faith knowing God would take care of me every step of the way. And I was extremely excited about the possibility of a biological sibling for my daughter although I never would have chosen to have my children 25ish months apart!

And He most certainly did take care of me every step of the way!

When all the drama started I again prayed the same thing: That God would give me the strength and peace to endure the next 5-6 months if there was indeed a baby in Tracy’s womb.

The reality was, there was no doubt in my mind that I would continue with no hesitation if a precious baby popped up on the ultrasound screen. I knew if this baby in Tracy’s womb were Little Bug, I would have “dealt with Tracy” for nine whole entire months in order to be Little Bug’s mother.

By the Grace of God, I only had to deal with drama for 48 days with Little Bug’s adoption.

And you know how many days this second ordeal lasted? (I find this very interesting.)

49.

I have thoroughly enjoyed my baby girl over the past two days.

I look at her and there is just a renewed awe at the miracle of her adoption.

I do not say this to make myself the “hero”, because her adoption has nothing to do with me and everything to do with the grace and mercy of our Heavenly Father, but my heart breaks when I think of what could have been had Tracy not chosen adoption for Little Bug.

For some reason, a reason we are probably not fully aware of now, God picked Little Bug up out of her biological family and placed her with us and her life is forever changed and totally different than it would have been.

For now, I know the reason must be this: God has a special plan for this precious child, one that He could only accomplish through her by removing her from that situation and placing her with us.

Life is good. Well, life isn’t always good but I have certainly learned that even when life’s circumstances aren’t good, God always is.

God is always at work orchestrating his beautiful plan for our lives, if we allow it.

And God is always faithful and good.

- Elaine