I don’t usually keep big secrets on this blog.

From the day I started this blog I have journaled the journey God has taken us on pretty much as it has happened.

There’s been no holding back. Even though I am a quiet person in real life, I spill it here on this blog.

I do so for the Glory of God because, as I have learned over the past four years of this journey, this journey is so NOT about me.

It is all about God and what He is doing through my life as I continuously daily choose to trust Him and let Him have the control that is His and His alone.

I’ve been keeping a pretty big secret and it is time that I spill it.

May 12th we were matched with a woman due this summer.

There is a reason I have not shared this yet: I am still trying to piece together the puzzle and figure things out myself.

This I do know: God is at work and is doing another miracle. Part of my hesitancy to share this is because we were told with Little Bug’s super fast adoption that “this just doesn’t happen” and yet, it has happened…again.

Because God is sovereign and God is great and His plans for our life REALLY are bigger and better than ANYTHING we can dream up for ourselves.

The key is letting go. We have to let go of OUR desires, the way WE think things SHOULD be.

When we do this, God moves in ways we never thought were possible and literally blows our minds away. God has continuously pressed this upon my heart as I have gone through all of this.

Do you know what I value most in my life – even beyond my husband and my daughter?

What God has taught me from day one of our infertility diagnosis until today.

God is SO BIG and I am honestly completely overwhelmed in even attempting to write what He has taught me! I can’t hardly get my mind to even comprehend the magnitude of God’s power, holiness, sovereignty, mercy, love, grace, forgiveness, peace and joy.

And then I remembered…God has used this blog as a way for me to process things and proclaim to the world that GOD IS FAITHFUL.

No matter what…God is faithful!

I think back to that day that my dreams of pregnancy died. It was on that day that God started stirring within me that it was time to fly the white flag in surrender.

It was time to say to God, “Ok God, I have no clue what you are doing, but here I am. All of me. Take my infertility and do what YOU want to do with it.”

I wanted to be pregnant SO BAD it physically hurt when I was told I would never be.

But yet God called me to surrender that dream to Him.

It wasn’t an easy thing to do at all, but I did it because I was taught that obedience unto the Lord is the ONLY way to please God.

I feel so unworthy of such miracles.

Why me?

And then I realize this has NOTHING to do with whether I am “worthy enough” to receive such blessings or not. (Because if that were the case, I would receive what I deserve and that is total separation from God because I am a sinner.)

Instead, it has EVERYTHING to do with GOD. Everything.

God has paid the penalty for my sins with His death on the cross. I have accepted His free gift of salvation and I truly do just desire for my life to glorify God now.

My life is not my own. It is God’s and, because I am surrendered to Him, He has free reign to do with my life as He pleases.

He has not forsaken me! He has raised me out of the darkness of infertility and a barren womb and poured His richest blessings on me.

I simply could NOT have orchestrated the events that brought me my daughter and the events that are bringing me another precious miracle this summer.

It is totally ALL God and it just makes me want to praise Him all the days of my life!!!!

I’ve been asked how I can still believe in God after He did not give me the desire of my heart.

The answer is quite simple.

He has given me so much more.

More than I can even wrap my mind around right now.

And the best part?

It’s all for HIS GLORY! He gets ALL the credit for this because there is NO way on earth any human being can get credit for the work that GOD has done in my life over the past four years.

There is obviously more to say than what I have shared today with you.

As soon as the puzzle comes together and I can see the complete work of the Lord in this current match, I will be sharing the story with you.

- Elaine