This was actually written on July 8th, but I am just now posting it.

Today is July 8th.

This was the date we had figured Tracy was due based on information she gave on when she thought she got pregnant.

On December 13th of last year, when the lawyer called me to tell me Tracy’s news, July seemed eons away.

I did not know how I was going to be able to deal with Tracy for over six months as we waited for the baby to be born.

Six weeks later, we learned there was no baby and Tracy again drifted out of our life.

But not before God was able to give me something that I felt was extremely important for my daughter to have…a picture with her birth mother.

I shared in this post that our current match has opened the door for me to explain to Little Bug that she used to be in Tracy’s tummy.

Little Bug and I were talking about Sweet Pea and Little Bug informed me again that she “used to be in Tracy’s tummy”.

Then Little Bug asked me, “See Tracy?”

Immediately, I thanked God that He had given me the opportunity to get a picture of Tracy for Little Bug. I know my daughter. She is very curious and I knew one day, sooner or later, she would want to see Tracy.

So I took Little Bug into my bedroom, pulled out my laptop and showed her every single picture we took at the zoo that day with Tracy.

She put her little finger on the laptop screen and “touched” Tracy.

Tracy is a part of Little Bug.

No, I do not think of Tracy as Little Bug’s “real mother” or even her “other mother”.

Little Bug has one mother in this world.

That would be me.

But Tracy is a part of Little Bug and forever will be.

Tracy carried Little Bug “in her tummy” for eight and half months and she gave birth to her.

Things I simply could not do for Little Bug.

Tracy found herself pregnant knowing she could not mother the child in her womb.

She chose adoption for her baby.

I had prayed for years for God to put a baby in my womb so that I could become a mother.

Tracy and me?

We are a perfect match.

We are a story that reflects the redemptive mercy God gave me when He adopted me into His family.

My heart breaks for Tracy.

I wish I could make her stop doing the things that put her in a situation to need an adoption plan for her child in the first place.

I wish I could break the stronghold of sin that Satan has on her life.

I wish I could save her.

I can do none of that, though.

The only thing I can do is pray for her.

And on this day, I ask if you are taking the time to read this post, will you say a prayer for her, too?

Thank you.

- Elaine