I’m not gonna lie and say that everything over here is sunshine and roses, because I knew it wouldn’t be that way from the get-go.

Sweet Pea has been pretty restless and fussy practically all day.

I’ve been researching “reflux” because last night at the ER the doctor there said that Sweet Pea’s episodes of spitting up and it coming out her nose could be reflux.

With the drug exposure, it is just hard to really pinpoint what is going on.

All I know is today I have a very fussy, gassy, restless Sweet Pea and the gas drops, Gripe water and these holistic colic meds I picked up at the pedi’s office yesterday morning just aren’t making a difference today.

Part of me wonders if I should call the pedi’s office on Monday morning and ask to come in to speak with the doctor about reflux.

And then part of me wonders if this is all methadone/withdrawal related and I just need to stick it out.

Is there really a way to decipher the two and know what is really going on with Sweet Pea?

I don’t have any idea!

I guess I am just wondering if any of the reflux meds out there for babies with reflux would help Sweet Pea regardless if we are dealing with withdrawal or reflux issues.

And then there is Monday.

My mom can’t move in with us, but I honestly don’t know how I am going to take care of an active 2 year old who requires constant attention and a fussy baby who needs to be held all. the. time.

Life is pretty much a circus right now and I am the clown out there trying to juggle about 15 balls all at once!

I knew it would be this way and I know this phase is temporary, but somehow between now and Monday I’ve got to figure out how I am going to keep these balls in the air come Monday and still maintain at least a sliver of sanity until this withdrawal/reflux stage is past.

- Elaine