I was wondering if it was a hard decision to go ahead with IUIs and IVF (a long time ago now). We are currently trying to figure out the best option for us, and I don’t really know how I would feel about things not being successful if we go for either route. It seems like a big money investment with no guarantee of success. But if it works, it would be worth it!

If you go back and read the posts surrounding our IUI cycles and our IVF cycle, you will read that with every cycle we allowed God to direct our path. I have been asked before if, looking back, I wish we had never even tried the IUIs and IVF.

My answer is always, That was just a chapter of the story God wanted to write. There was purpose in those cycles.

For some, the purpose of IUI and IVF cycles is pregnancy.

For me, it was not.

God used those cycles to teach me so many truths about Himself. He taught me that He had a plan and even when things were not going my way (negative cycle after negative cycle), He still had a plan AND it was better than anything I could imagine. I begged and pleaded with God to put a baby in my womb as we cycled.

His answer was always no.

God taught me that even though His answer was no, I still needed to trust HIM completely and SURRENDER my desires for His will.

God used those cycles to do a tremendous work in my life concerning my desire for a pregnancy.

After our IVF cycle that was a complete failure, God made it very clear to me that we were done with infertility treatments. It is hard to explain exactly how I knew but suffice it to say that in my heart I knew God was leading us to adoption, instead of giving IVF another try.

To me, there was always peace where God was leading – even if it was NOT where I wanted to go.

I certainly didn’t want to give up and not try IVF again, but there was not peace in my heart to give IVF another try. There was tremendous peace in filling out our adoption paperwork and gathering pictures and information for our family profile that potential birth mothers would look at. Sure there was a certain amount of fear and uncertainty wrapped around that peace, but there was peace that we were following God’s lead and it required a measure of faith to choose God’s path instead of our own.

I always tell anyone contemplating infertility treatments (or just in general anyone who is wondering what is next) to get still before the Lord and pray and ask Him to guide you. If you truly seek Him and surrender your own desires for His plan, He will make your path straight and you will know the way to go.

It very well may not be where YOU want to go, and that is where it gets tricky.

Had I gone my own way, I wouldn’t have Little Bug as my daughter and that is a scary thought to me now.

I would not want any chapter of my story to change – at all.

God is faithful and He will bring you through infertility as you seek Him and trust Him. Trust that He has a plan beyond your wildest dreams. When He makes it clear what you are to do, or not do, act upon that.

And then stand in amazement at what God does. It might not be right away that He starts making things happen. God had so many things He desired to teach me as I waited to become a mother. I wouldn’t want any of those days to be deleted from my journey.

Together each day, each week, each month and each year, brought me to where I am today.

The blessed mother of two precious little girls, Little Bug and Sweet Pea.

What type of bottles do you use? Did they both like the first type you tried? I bought the born free bottles and we are expecting our baby to come home October 14th through the miracle of adoption! We are nervous that maybe we should have other “brands” available. What is your experience?

I had registered for and received the Avent bottles for Little Bug. We brought her home and pulled the Avent bottles out and she would not feed from the Avent bottle! Since she had been in the NICU for a week and the NICU feeds with latex nipples, she would not take the silicone Avent bottle nipples.

Fortunately, someone else had given me the Playtex drop in bottles, which were up in Little Bug’s closet. I pulled those out and put the latex nipple on for her and she took right to them.

I had saved all the Playtex bottles for a second baby. I had all the Playtex bottles ready for Sweet Pea and we did use those at first but, because of her tummy issues, we have switched her to Dr. Brown’s bottles and all the Playtex bottles have been packed away.

I do recommend having more than one brand of bottle on hand, just from my own experiences. It won’t hurt to have another bottle on hand just incase the baby does not take to the Born Free bottles. And as a side note…the Born Free sippy cup is an excellent sippy to transition baby away from bottles after turning a year old! Little Bug took to them right away when I weaned her from the bottle at 14 months of age.

How exciting that you are awaiting the birth of this baby! I know that these last few week are also very nerve-wracking as you wait for that call that baby is here. May God’s peace carry you through the weeks ahead!

If you have any thoughts on getting an 11 week old on a loose schedule, I’d love to know! My son is breastfed so his eating patterns will probably look different from a formula-fed baby. The one thing I want to avoid is crying it out (no judgment — it’s just not for us.) I am trying to figure out how to gently encourage a loose routine.

I would start with establishing the eat/wake/sleep cycle. Have your son eat, then have some playtime and then, it is time for a nap. That cycle repeats itself all day long and is how a baby learns to distinguish from day and night.

I have NO experience breastfeeding, so I can only tell you what I know from the Babywise Mom’s blog. She has a 6 year old, 4 year old and 2 year old. All of her children are Babywise babies and all of them were breastfed until one year of age. Her pet peeve with those anti-Babywise that claim that Babywise creates babies who are eventually labeled “failure-to-thrive” is that the Babywise book clearly tells parents to feed baby when hungry no matter what. This means, if baby is hungry and it is not the scheduled feeding time yet, feed baby anyway! A hungry baby gets fed, plain and simple. So, in regards to you breastfeeding, according to Babywise Mom it is still possible to have a breastfed baby on a predicable feeding schedule where he/she will thrive and grow appropriately! Now, there are always exceptions to any rule and that is for you as Mommy to decide!

But here is the normal feeding schedule progression for a Babywise baby:

A baby typically begins eating every 2.5-3 hours. Then after week 5, some babies are ready to move to a 2.5-3.5 hour eating schedule. Babies gradually extend their feeding schedules to a combination 3 to 4 hour feeding schedule. Then, babies reach the 4-hour schedule, which is heavenly, by the way.

Each baby is different and progresses at different rates. Little Bug did not reach the 4-hour schedule until she was nearly 12 months old! One of my friends has a baby who is 5 months old and he has been on the 4-hour schedule since around 3-4 months old.

That is the beauty of Babywise (and a schedule/routine). You can follow the Babywise guidelines at the pace of your own baby, knowing eventually, your baby will meet the milestones if you stick with it and allow each day to be a work in progress toward your ultimate goal of uninterrupted nighttime sleep (10-12 hours) for both you and your baby, with predictable naptimes during the day (1-3 naps depending on baby’s age and sleep needs). I know that because of Sweet Pea’s tummy troubles she will most likely hit the sleeping through the night milestone late, and that is perfectly okay. (Although I will be one tired Mama when she does finally get there, but that is okay, too!)

So, in summary, work on establishing the eat/wake/sleep cycle in your son if that is not already in place. Decide what eating schedule would suit him the most and meet his nutritional needs. And then, decide on when you want his first feeding of the day to be. That way, naps and feeding times will be at around the same time everyday and become somewhat more predictable.

Starting his day at the same time is KEY to being able to establish a daily routine. This was a mistake I made with Little Bug. I wanted to develop a routine to where I would know what time she would eat and nap each day, but since she was waking anywhere from 6 to 8am, our days were all over the map and nothing was really consistent until I established a 7:30am wake time.

My guess would be a 3 to 3.5 hour feeding schedule would suit him well since he is 11 weeks old (I am just basing this on your son’s age) and that would mean he would eat, be awake for about an hour and a half (includes eating time) and then nap for approximately 1.5 hours. Look for sleepy cues to help you determine when he is ready for a nap.

There is a book out there called the No Cry Sleep Solution that might help you out with some sleep training methods that do not involve letting baby cry-it-out.

Another book you might enjoy is The Baby Whisperer.

Just start somewhere and know that it takes time to establish a routine. It won’t happen overnight and the routine you establish will constantly need to be adjusted as your son’s eating and sleeping habits change as he gets older!

- Elaine