I didn’t think two children ages two and under would be a piece of cake (which is why if I had had it my way, my children would be closer to 3-4 years apart!), so the challenges that have come my way really are no surprise.

But in these 2 months of being a mother to two, I have already learned many valuable lessons that I know I will take with me the rest of my life. And I am thankful for this, and as my wonderful husband reminds me all of the time, “This [Sweet Pea’s tummy troubles] will only get better!”. We often think about what life is going to be like with two little girls running around playing together. That time will be here before we know it…and this challenging season will be a distant memory.

Here is what I’ve learned (so far):

• Choose to have a positive attitude. That goes a long way. I tell Little Bug to “Choose to be happy.” when she is being a crankypants for no apparent reason other than the fact that she is 2. I tell myself that too. Choosing a positive attitude changes everything. It makes my home a happy home despite the fact that it feels very circus-like right now. And, like it or not, since I am “wife/mom” my attitude on things plays a HUGE role in my entire family’s attitude. So, I might as well choose to laugh at the craziness instead of let it get me frustrated or upset! A laughing family is way better than an upset family!
• Embrace today for what it is. I love what my brother posted as his Facebook status this week: It’s good to be content wherever you are, cause that's where you're always going to be. I choose to embrace my Circus Life, because it is life right now! There are no guarantees for tomorrow and yesterday is a done deal, sealed away in the memories. I want to make good memories with my girls from the very beginning – even in this survival mode phase, because…
• The days are long but the years are short! Some days seem like they are actually a week long, but I know that I am going to one day very soon realize this phase has passed and a new phase will be upon me. My daughters won’t always be this young and I won’t always face these particular challenges that I face today with them. There will be new joys and new challenges. In the grand scheme of things, these days are just a short chapter in our story. Soon the chapter will be over and a new one will begin.
• Make time with the Lord a daily priority. I put Little Bug in her room for Independent Playtime and then I come straight to my bedroom for my time with the Lord. I used to do my Quiet Time with the Lord whenever I felt like fitting it in. Sometimes it was during IP, sometimes during naptime and sometimes before going to bed and sometimes, I just didn’t get around to it. I have found I am a much better wife and mother when I make this time priority in the morning while Little Bug does IP. It sets my focus and perspective where it should be and it turns my heart to the Lord. The verse I kept repeating to myself during the 48 hours we waited for TPR to be signed after Sweet Pea’s birth was James 4:7-8, “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you.” By making my time with God priority every morning, I am submitting myself to God. This plan certainly isn’t fool proof because some mornings we get up and have to be out of the house early and on those mornings I don’t do my Quiet Time with God during IP and most days like that I am dragging by the days end and sometimes I am not a very nice person to be around! I have found making that time with God priority every day makes all the difference in the world in how I respond to the day’s challenges.
• Choose contentment. Life is constantly changing. The season of life I am in now will not stick around forever. And as much as I despise the “newborn phase”, it is a very precious season when you factor out the challenging aspects of it. And, every season and phase of life has challenging aspects. Some seasons are a little more challenging than others, but there will always be challenges in life. Why else would God tell us in His word that “There will be troubles! But take heart! I have overcome the world.”? Choosing to be content through life just makes life that much sweeter. I choose to focus on the positive aspects of every season of my life, which makes the challenging aspects easier to manage. If there is some aspect of my life that I don’t particularly like now (i.e. a baby in pain and middle of night feedings!), I can rest assured, this season of life will eventually pass…and another challenge will be come my way so I might as well be choose to be happy where I am today!

One of my biggest struggles right now is not “having it all together”.

I am a very organized, orderly person. I’m a planner. And mistakes that are my fault and that involve my children don’t go over well with me. I give myself zero mercy.

The day I took Sweet Pea to the GI doctor I went off to the appointment and did not realize until we were already downtown and about to check in that I had gone off and left the bottle for her 11am feed in the fridge!

I was so mad at myself. How could I have gone off and left something so important??!

I know how. Getting a 2 year old and 8 week old ready to leave the house so I can drop the 2 year old off at Grandpa’s so that we can take the 8 week old to the doctor is no easy task! Even though I have things ready the night before, leaving the house with two is chaotic. I can’t imagine what it would be like if I didn’t do some preparations the night before. Impossible?!

I was too embarrassed to ask the nurse if they had any samples of formula there that I could give her so my mom asked and the nurse saved the day.

Um. I went off and left the house and now I am stuck downtown with no formula for my baby who will need to eat in 30 minutes. Yeah. I couldn’t quite make those words come out of my mouth.

I can’t keep up with everything right now. My house is not cleaned every week and the laundry is a constant battle that I never seem to win. There just isn’t time to get it all done because when I have a chance I either a) have a baby that just needs to be held because she is in pain or b) have a 2 year old that needs attention or c) I want to sit down and relax when I get half an hour to actually do so instead of clean a bathroom!

But, obviously, I choose to hold and comfort my baby and take a few moments for myself rather than have a spotless house. I quickly learned a spotless house is not important in this phase of my life. Life is dirty right now! It is full of dirty diapers and spit up.

I know that one day when Sweet Pea’s troubles subside, I’ll get a system back in place where I can accomplish all of this efficiently. And don’t try to tell me I won’t, because I will one day get back into my groove! But, not right now and maybe not until Sweet Pea is…a year?!

Fortunately, I have a very understanding husband who is not afraid to use the washing machine and I have a mother who comes over to help me with household chores so that I can somewhat keep up with things around here.

But…this is my new “normal” and I kinda like it.

Cause I choose to.

And it is good for my recovering perfectionist self, too.

- Elaine