I knew this time would come and I knew it would be painful.

Is there a place on this earth that evokes nothing but sweet memories in your mind?

For me, that place is my Grandma and Grandpa’s house. Every season of my life has memories of going to Grandma and Grandpa’s house.

I have a memory of Grandma in every single room of their house that I have held on to since she left this earth for heaven when I was 15 years old….

In the living room on Christmas morning. I can remember being excited for Grandma to open the gift I had for her and going to sit on her lap with the new baby doll I had received. There is so much joy in those memories of being at Grandma and Grandpa’s house for Christmas Morning.

The living room.

Grandma would rock me as a small child in the burgundy rocking chair that is in the living room. That is probably one of my earliest memories.

I now rock my babies in this rocking chair!

In the dinning room. I would always sit to the right of Grandma at the dinning room table. Grandma always worried I was never eating enough because I barely ate enough to keep a bird alive.

In the kitchen making “Grandma Rolls”. Grandma would always make these delicious yeast rolls and I would help. When I was real little and couldn’t reach the countertop, I’d stand on a chair and Grandma would use a small glass to cut the dough and make rolls. I would lather the rolls with melted butter and fold them in half.

This is the kitchen. My Grandpa recently did a complete make-over of the kitchen, replacing the cabinets and putting in granite counter tops. Grandma and I would always make the Grandma rolls standing at the counter pictured above.

That year Little Bug’s first time going to my Grandma and Grandpa’s house, she “helped” make the Grandma rolls. When I was little there was a cabinet that came out over that counter but when my Grandpa remodeled the kitchen, he had that cabinet removed.

In the breakfast room. I remember siting there with Grandma eating breakfast on the mornings before it was time to get in the car and drive back home. I always wished we could stay just one more day.

My mom feeding Little Bug in the breakfast room.

In the den siting by Grandma’s side in the brown chair. We were both slender and fit perfectly together in that chair. Her arm would be around me and we would sit there and talk. I often think of those times talking to my Grandma as a child and wish she could know me as an adult as well. Many games of Parcheesi, Clue and Yahtzee were played in the den around the card table.

I am siting in the brown chair I can remember siting in with my Grandma.

The fireplace in the den where the six grandchildren stockings were hung at Christmastime!

In the hallway. Yes, I even have memories in the hallway! There were family pictures from multiple generations that were hung on the wall in the hallway. One night before we were all headed to bed, Grandma and Grandpa started telling us stories about our relatives from long ago while we all sat in the hallway looking at their pictures.

In the bedroom. The corner bedroom with the twin beds. The bed that was on the right side of the room was always the bed I slept in as a child. There was nothing better than going to sleep at night knowing I would wake up and be at Grandma’s house in the morning. When I was around 11 or 12 years old, my brother and I spent an entire week at Grandma and Grandpa’s house without our parents. We had a Scavenger Hunt that lead us to a disposable camera so we could take pictures of our week, a train ride and many nights of playing games. In recent years I learned that any time my cousin, Emily, sleeps on that bed she removes the plant hanging from above just like I do! We don’t like sleeping under plants apparently!

In Grandma and Grandpa’s bedroom. I don’t know if we weren’t supposed to go in there as children, but every time I approach that room I always feel like “I shouldn’t be doing this!”. I remember always being amazed at their bed because they had a king size bed and it was always SO big!

That door at the end of this hallway is Grandma and Grandpa’s room. To the left was Grandma’s little sowing room and to the right is the bathroom. When we were little Grandma had a crib in the sowing room for the grandkids. That has always been the room Little Bug sleeps in, too. It’s the perfect size to fit a pack n play in there.

My memories extend to the outdoors. Their house backed up to woods with a stream that ran through it. There were countless hours spent out in the yard playing with cousins. We would build forts; the girls had a fort and the boys had a fort and we would play for hours on end in our forts.

This bridge was not here when I was a child, but these are the woods the cousins would play in for countless hours.

The front door. When it was time for us to leave Grandma would always stand at the front door watching us pull out of the driveway. She would be waving goodbye with tears in her eyes. I usually had tears in my eyes, too.

Little Bug standing at the front door from the inside at 11 months old.

The driveway wasn’t always paved and had rocks that made a distinct sound when you drove over them. It was the sound of arriving at Grandma and Grandpa’s house and that always made my heart leap for joy.

I was born in the city where my grandparents live, but when I was almost 2 years old my dad was transferred with his job to the city we live in still to this day and it nearly broke my Grandma’s heart when my parents broke the news to them.

My parents went to their house one day with news to share and thinking my parents were going to tell them that another baby was on the way, my parents told my grandparents that they were moving a day’s drive away! I can’t imagine breaking that kind of news to my parents! My Grandma was heartbroken that I was moving away and literally got on her hands and knees in front of my dad and begged him not to take her baby away.

As a child, we made the trip back to Grandma and Grandpa’s frequently and in recent years we have always gone there for Thanksgiving.

Christmas of 1996 was the first holiday at Grandma and Grandpa’s house when Grandma wasn’t there. I can remember going there was so strange without Grandma being there to greet us. Still to this day I refer to that house as “Grandma and Grandpa’s house” even though she hasn’t been there in almost 16 years now.

When Grandma died in 1996, Grandpa continued to live in the house they had built together in the late 70’s. Over the past year or so, it has become increasingly hard for Grandpa to live there and maintain the property.

I knew the day would come when Grandpa would get to the point where living there would no longer be best and he would need to move into a retirement center.

That time has come.

And now my heart is breaking.

It is not so much the actual house that I don’t want to let go of. It is the fact that literally every single memory of my Grandma resides in that house. It is the last tangible thing here on earth of Grandma and it breaks my heart to have to let go of that. I hate the thought of that house not being “Grandma and Grandpa’s house” in the very near future. I simply cannot imagine someone else living there.

My dad and his two brothers are helping Grandpa go through stuff and get the house ready to rent. Yes, there is some solace in knowing it will be rental property instead of being sold right away. But still. Once Grandpa moves out, it will no longer be “Grandma and Grandpa’s house”.

The last time I was there was Thanksgiving of 2010. We did not go last year because some of my mom’s family was going to be in town for Thanksgiving that year (which is a rarity) so we stayed home.

Thanksgiving of 2010 could very well be the last time I ever step foot in that house.

My parents have offered to take us to Grandma and Grandpa’s house for one last time in July, but I am not sure I want to go.

I know that sounds strange. Why wouldn’t I want to go?

Well, my answer is probably even stranger, but, I am not sure I want to go there knowing it is my last time ever to go there. I would almost rather just let the last time I was there without knowing it was the last time be my last time there.

But then, I do want to go there one last time. I want to walk through those rooms one last time and remember. But when it came time to leave, oh my goodness….tears are streaming down my face just typing this out right now. Leaving that day would be oh so hard knowing I’d never step foot in that house again.

I have to focus on the blessings of being in this situation.

I am forever grateful that I had the kind of childhood where sweet memories like these were made in my grandparent’s home. There are no negative memories. It truly is all sunshine and roses. And it is hard to walk away from all that and know that I can never walk through that house again.

It’s the end of a chapter.

And all I am left with is memories.

Sweet memories of a little girl who loved nothing more than going to Grandma and Grandpa’s house.

The cousins and Grandpa at Thanksgiving 2009. We’ve since grown by three more: two more spouses and Sweet Pea!

- Elaine