**This was written by my husband, Dave.

I went with a team from my church to Haiti on July 14th. It was a life-changing experience for a lot of reasons, but one thing in particular happened to me while I was in Haiti that I think is most worth sharing here.

This specific life-changing event happened on Thursday night. The week was almost over; Thursday was our last night of crusades, and Friday was a free day before our trip home Saturday. Each night at the crusade we had music, a testimony from someone on our team, and a message from our pastor who was with us.

I knew about the testimony ahead of time. My sister-in-Christ E was to talk; I knew she had been raped and, as a result, became pregnant. I didn’t know the whole story, though, and what I didn’t know took me completely by surprise.

To understand how E’s testimony impacted me, it’s important for me to emphasize what a low point in her life it was to be bearing a child that was a product of an assault on her body (even worse, as she put it, “He raped my soul”). Hearing how E felt so bitter and alone, carrying this painful reminder around inside her made me feel sick to my stomach. I almost never cry, but I was very close when I heard E describe her feelings during those 9 months of her life.

E explained that she went to an abortion clinic, but she couldn’t go through with it. Still, she knew she couldn’t raise the child. It needed a loving home, removed from the pain and anguish that brought it into the world. I knew what her next words would be, even though I had never heard them. E allowed a family who couldn’t have children adopt the child.

Hearing E say that put me over the edge. Until this point in her testimony I had been thinking about E as who she is now, but when I learned she had been a birth mother for another family, I realized fully that she was once just like the mothers of my own children. Abused, alone, and emotionally a wreck. I cried as I listened to how our girls’ birth mothers must be living even today.

E’s testimony revealed a sin in my life that I had been unaware of. In the past I always looked down on our girls’ birth mothers. I was thankful for the gift they gave us, but I didn’t really care about those women. I would rather never see them again. I certainly didn’t pray for them. I’m sure feeling that way is somewhat natural, especially with the way our first adoption was drawn out by the birth mother, but God convicted me of it through E and her story. I realized that the same compassion I had for E as she told her story should be what I feel for our girls’ birth mothers, except even more because they have yet to find salvation. My attitude in the past had been the same as the Pharisee’s attitude toward Jesus when he would choose to associate with the “unclean”.

It’s true; Jesus spent his time on earth drawing in people just like E, people just like Little Bug’s and Sweet Pea’s birth mothers, people whose lives are wrecked, who have no hope. Luke 19 talks about them when it says “For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.” (v10)

I later told E in person thank you for her story, that it had changed me. I used to see our girls’ birth mothers as trash. I know that sounds harsh, but I have to be honest about it. Now I pray for them daily, and I thank God that he has changed my heart through the testimony of E, a sister in Christ who boldly followed God’s will for her to share her amazing redemption story.

- Elaine