I LOVED the fourth chapter of Shepherding a Child’s Heart. I believe it hits on the very fact of why we have so many rebellious, disobedient children and teens in this world.

This chapter is all about who is in charge of children.

Guess who that could be?

Their parents!!

Page 28 sums it up quite nicely…

As a parent, you have authority because God calls you to be an authority in your child’s life. You have the authority to act on behalf of God.

It is a sad tragedy that in today’s culture there are way too many parents out there who are afraid to be the authority in their child’s life for whatever reason.

Not long ago, I was in a store and while waiting in the check-out line I observed a family unit of a man, his wife and a young child probably around 2-3 years old.

The man asked the boy to come here and the boy just walked away. The man called him over and over; the boy continued walking away.

Then, it was as if the man just “gave up” because he got his wife involved who ran after the child.

Now – before I go any further – there is absolutely nothing wrong with a child not obeying and coming the first time he is called.

Believe me. I have a three year old. I have told her to “come here” and she has deliberately not obeyed and walked in the other direction.

I get that. It’s what kid’s do.

The problem I see here is the fact this man just “gave up” on his command for his boy to “come here”. It was like, He’s not gonna listen to me, obviously, so he’s her responsibility now!”

I wanted to walked over there and say, “GO AFTER YOUR BOY, Man!! MAKE him obey you. TEACH him when Daddy calls you, you walk to Daddy. FIGHT for him NOW – before it is too late and he disregards EVERYTHING you say because you have absolutely NO authority in his life.”

Oh, nothing grates on my nerves more than seeing parents not being parents!!!

Now, before I go any further….please hear me.

I am not a perfect parent!

I have a strong-willed three-year-old. You all know that by now. I have been the parent in the store with the child running away from the parent who is running after them!

My child is not perfect, either.

But we are parents for a reason and we are called by God to be their authority figures.

And this is not something to be taken lightly.

As parents we are God’s agents to help our children understand God’s standard for children’s behavior.

This means we are to teach them that they are sinners by nature, we must then point them to the mercy and grace of God shown in Christ’s life and death for sinners.

I love this: Correction is not displaying your anger at their offenses; it is rather reminding them that their sinful behavior offends God. (page 34)

One of my greatest struggles in parenting is to NOT allow my frustrations to show when I am disciplining my child for the 45th time on the same offense in the same 24-hour period!

Discipline is corrective. The purpose is to move a child who has disobeyed God (because a child who has disobeyed their parents has disobeyed God) back to the path of obedience.

And sometimes that means correcting a child on the same offense 45 times in one day. It is exhausting, yes, but it is our responsibility as parents.

On page 36 Tripp says, Discipline is an expression of love.

One of the best ways we can show our children that we love them, is to discipline them by shepherding their hearts to the ways of God and bringing them back to the path of obedience when they stray.

How this is accomplished is up next.

- Elaine