I wrote this while we were in the mountains in October.

We are here in the mountains for the week and when I am here I always find my heart reflecting on the past, present and future.

Two years ago when we were here Little Bug was nearly one and half years old and the thoughts of #2 were on my mind while we were in the mountains that week.

Later I would learn that the baby Tracy conceived and we were going to adopt in July 2011 was conceived around the time we were in the mountains.

But then, the baby that God did indeed plan to join our family, was conceived a month after our annual fall trip to the mountains.

If we were to continue in this pattern of bringing a child into our family every two(ish) years, #3 will soon be on his/her way. However.

I’m not feeling it for a #3 yet – and possibly ever.

But still I find myself thinking about all this as we are in the mountains this week.

And you want to know what my overall thoughts and feelings are concerning all this??

Total peace.

I don’t have to figure this out this week. After the journey God took me on with Little Bug and Sweet Pea’s adoptions, I simply rest in total peace knowing God’s already got a plan in place concerning #3.

I go back and forth with wanting another child and feeling like our family is complete with our two daughters. It is mostly based on circumstances, which is no way to make this decision! For instance, last night on our first night here in the mountains, I felt like I had a newborn again because I was up in the night with Little Bug THREE times!! 11pm she puked from all the congestion she has, 4am she nearly fell head-first out of her bed in the room we are sharing this week and at 6:30am her sound machine turned off for some unknown reason and she was up for the day 1.5 hours earlier than her normal wake up time.

I stumbled out of bed that morning and sent a text to Dave telling him about my night with Little Bug and then I ended the text by writing: I do not want a 3rd child (this week) hehe

But when things are smooth sailing, I can often be found asking Dave, “But don’t you want a son??! And if it was another girl, that would be so fun to raise three daughters.” (He just laughs at me.)

Bottom line is this: We are trusting God. I know, that sounds so cliché, but that is where I (we) stand.

I have never before stood at the beginning of such a journey as a possible 3rd adoption and been totally at peace knowing God will lead, God will provide, and God will reveal His plan to us in His time.

I know in the coming years God will clearly open our hearts to another child or clearly show us that our family is complete.

It’s not something I have to “figure out” by the time Sweet Pea is two!

God’s Got This as He has already so clearly demonstrated to me two times before.

And this time around, I am going to simply relish in the total peace this kind of trusting in the Lord brings.

- Elaine