We had a very interesting, amusing agent helping us do our loan application paperwork a couple weeks ago.

As we sat down in his office I started looking around at the pictures on his walls and noticed a picture of two boys on his bookshelf.

Somehow we got to talking about the fact that our daughters are adopted and he shared that he had adopted his oldest son who is now 35 years old.

When there was a lull in the signing of the 50 million papers we had to sign, I decided to ask him more about his adoption of his son. And he wowed me with this story:

He shared that he had adopted the boy at age 12 but had known the child since age 8. The boy was his wife’s son from a previous relationship. The agent, who I will refer to as C, shared that he was working real estate and there was this little 8-year-old boy who was a wild child, dancing on top of a desk in the front lobby of the company. But the secretaries at the front desk just put up with him because his family owned the company and no one would dare say anything about the child’s behavior for fear of losing their job.

But C came into the lobby, saw the child dancing on the top of the desk, totally out of control and walked over to him, pick him up off the desk, sat him in a chair and told him, “Your grandparents would not want to see you acting like this. You will sit here.”

The child didn’t move after that and the secretaries sat wide-eyed.

Not long after this C somehow met the boy’s mother, was very attracted to her and they began dating! The woman, who I will call D, did not allow C to meet her son until they had been dating for nearly a year!

When D finally allowed C to meet her son, the boy stood with his mouth wide open saying, “This guy? Really??!”. The boy and C had some explaining to do and D learned that her boyfriend had seen the misbehaving child and taken matters into his own hands to discipline a child who was greatly lacking the influence of male father-figure in his life.

The boy’s father wasn’t in the picture much and was $25,000 in debt for child support.

The couple continued to date and eventually got married and C wanted to adopt the boy as his own child. But first, the biological father would have to give up his rights to his son. C told the bio father that his child support debt would be forgiven if he allowed him to adopt his son.

So C adopted the boy at age 12 and stepped into the father figure role this child was lacking. C told us he wouldn’t let the boy get away with anything. He shared one particular story of the boy being sent to take his shower at night and they would hear the water come on, but he knew the boy was just putting the lid of the toilet down, sitting and reading his comic books – instead of showering! – and then getting his arms wet in the shower before turning it off and coming out in a towel.

C would tell the boy, “You didn’t shower!” and the boy would head back for a real shower.

As C talked I was reminded about the very important role the father plays in a child’s life. This boy was headed down the wrong path with no one to “show him the way he should go”, but then C stepped up, adopted the boy and literally changed his life.

His 35 year old son is a very productive member of society today. He’s an engineer, married and has two small children.

Never underestimate the influence a father has on a child. Positive or negative. It is a strong influence either way.

- Elaine