I think we are finally coming out of our latest “trying time” with Little Bug. I’m not really sure what to call these times but they happen every so often (I’d say every 6 months or so) and last for about a month.

Times when Little Bug decides it is time to test EVERY single boundary that has been established for her, leaving this Mama worn slap out. I very much dislike these times because I find myself disliking my child, or rather, disliking her behavior.

It didn’t take us long to figure out Little Bug is strong-willed, and really, we were given the warning straight from the hospital by Tracy, her birth mother.

“Be prepared! My kids are crazy!!”

At the time, I just smiled, but now, almost four and a half years later, I know exactly what she was saying!!

The last “trying time” was one of the most difficult for me yet. I felt drained nearly every single day. I looked forward to breaks from my child (i.e.. naptime and bedtime) where I could recharge to go to battle again the moment she awoke.

Because that is what it feels like when we are in these times. A battle. A battle of the wills.

If you have a strong-willed child, you know exactly what I am talking about. If you don’t, you’ve probably looked at a mother with a strong-willed child and shook your head thinking, “If only they would do xyz with him/her, this child wouldn’t (fill in the blank).”

If only it was that easy.

Raising a strong-willed child is any other adjective on the planet but easy.

I had in my mind even a few years ago that I needed to purchase and read Dr. James Dobson’s The Strong-Willed Child. It came in the mail last week and I started reading it that night.

The first couple of chapters had me glued (and staying up way too late. grrrrrr) because this man was talking about my child and the words he wrote helped me see that what I’ve been dealing with and the emotions I’ve felt are completely normal when raising a strong-willed child. Because raising a strong-willed child leaves a parent, myself included, feeling like you are doing something wrong for your kid to be acting this way!

Probably what has stuck out most to me in the first several chapters is this:

[Strong-willed children] “love to go toe-to-toe with their parents. They get their kicks by playing power games.” {page 20}

and this:

“If the strong-willed child is allowed by indulgence to develop ‘habits’ of defiance and disrespect during his or her early childhood, those characteristics will not only cause problems for the parents, but will ultimately handicap the child whose rampaging will was never brought under self-control.” {page 64}

That’s the why Little Bug is acting like this and the what I need to be doing about it!!

There is some very interesting material in this book. If you have a strong-willed child and have not read this book, I’d say it’s a must-read and I’m not even through with it yet! I’m going to be sharing more about what I’ve read in the coming weeks, so if interested, stay tuned!

- Elaine