I really struggle with what to share about our meeting with Tracy and what not to share. Some things just feel so personal and that it should be kept between Tracy, Little Bug and us.

I want to share bits and pieces because…it is just beautiful what God is doing.

Tracy is never far from my mind. I wouldn’t say she is on my mind daily, but it is never too long before a thought of her passes through my mind which is quickly followed by a simple prayer.

Usually I just pray that some day, some way God would use me or someone else in her path to bring her to Him.

The last time I saw Tracy before this past week was January of 2011. And the last time I had seen her prior to January of 2011 was when she gave birth to Little Bug in May of 2009.

I knew from the beginning Tracy would be in and out of our lives. It is both hard to not have contact with her and hard to have contact with her for a variety of reasons.

Unexpectedly a few weeks ago she came back into our lives. Even just the thought of possibly getting to see her thrilled my soul to no end. I so wanted that meeting to take place. It almost didn’t happen, but in the end it happened.

Watching her leave after our meeting and walk across the parking lot on her way home was hard because I didn’t know when I’d see or talk to her again.

Five days later, Little Bug’s birthday, I got a call from the lawyer telling me Tracy had called them saying she really wanted to talk to me on Little Bug’s birthday. She is always so hesitant to contact me and is always so respectful of boundaries even though I always tell her to contact me at anytime.

I hung up from the lawyer and called Tracy immediately.

That conversation was one of the most meaningful conversations I’ve ever had with Tracy.

Tracy has gone through something very traumatic recently and she simply needs to know someone in this world cares about her. She is so alone in this world it breaks my heart.

After eating lunch together that day we all met up, Tracy and I were standing alone in the parking lot talking. I looked her straight in the eyes and simply said, “I love you.”

I don’t know that I can adequately describe what I saw next, but it was a look of shock and astonishment as she took those three words in. I am not sure how long it was, but atleast a couple seconds went by before she said anything and was hugging my neck like I was a long-lost friend. Honestly, I don’t even remember what she said back to me because the look on her face said it all to me.

We all, no matter what our background or culture may be, desire to be heard and known, affirmed, chosen, included and to feel safe and loved. Tracy, for the majority of her life, has not had any of this.

It is heartbreaking.

As always, I don’t know how long Tracy will be in our lives this time, but while she is here, I am completely surrendered to God and open to allowing Him to use me as He desires to show Himself to her.

It’s what I’ve been praying for for over three years now and I know now, possibly more than ever, that God is in the Redemption business.

He takes broken people and redeems them. I’ve read story upon story in the Bible of God taking a broken person and redeeming them for His glory.

And it’s not just something He used to do back in Bible-time! No, God is the same yesterday, today and forever!

I’ve seen him take broken people living now in the 21st century and redeem them for His glory.

He wants nothing less for Tracy and I believe that with all my heart.

- Elaine