From the time I was 15 years old I have journaled in 3-ring notebooks. I have over 40 notebooks filled and every so often I like to go to where I store them all, pick one randomly, open it and begin reading.

Tonight I picked notebook #27 which I wrote in from June 10, 2006 - July 21, 2006. I don’t normally fill a notebook in a month’s time but these were very significant months in my life because it was during this time that Dave and I started dating and knew we were going to marry one day.

I came across my journal entry from July 5, 2006. Before I share what I wrote on that day, I need to tell you a little bit of background information.

Dave and I met in January of 2006 when Dave was my brother’s roommate and would come every week for Thursday night family dinner. A friendship grew over that spring and by the end of June, we were dating. As a general rule, I kept myself very guarded when it came to guys, but Dave weaseled his way into my heart pretty quickly. Within the first week of officially being together, we were talking marriage. We were one of those couples that just knew we were going to get married.

So on July 5, 2006, a little over a week after we started dating, I wrote this in my journal:

There is nothing telling me not to love Dave {last name}. The only reason I don't want to love Dave is so I won't get hurt. But I want to be married and have a husband and children more than I never want to be hurt. So tonight I am going to choose to love Dave. I am going to trust Dave but ultimately I am going to trust God. Yes Dave is human and can make mistakes but if I choose to love him, love forgives. So I will forgive him and ultimately know my heart belongs to God. And there I am safe.

These words are extremely significant to me now! The last few posts of this story have been written by Dave as he has boldly shared his journey through sexual addiction and repentance from the secret life he lived for so many years. And now it is time for me to tell the rest of my story in this. I will soon begin to talk about my journey through forgiveness, because it is only through Dave’s repentance and my forgiveness that we were able to rebuild our marriage from the nothing that it was on January 22, 2014.

- Elaine